Le plus ca change...

We note here at Mishmash Bookshop that the fragrant Louise Bagshawe has been selected via the notorious Conservative Central Office ‘A-list’ system to be the prospective candidate for Corby. Conservative Central Office is less than fifty yards from the front of our shop – start to feel like the world is getting smaller? And it is above a Starbuck’s – claustrophobic?

Prior to winning Tory X-Factor Ms Bagshawe was a writer of racy romantic fiction for modern girls – ‘chick lit’ as it is known in the biz. And because her successes in this project were not all that her publisher had expected, all of her titles have been remaindered, and we sell them by the bucketload. Especially to gay men for some reason.

But this is the second time in Mishmash's short and chequered career that I have fallen back on selling the early literary slush of a politician more famous for being infamous, than for representing their constituents.

In the mid ‘90’s the top-selling book in our Glasgow remainder bookshop was Helen Liddell’s Elite. Ms Liddell [almost always referred to as ‘Stalin’s Granny’] had just started out on her car crash of a political career and was none too pleased with us when we started promoting the literary failures of her past; I vaguely recall a lawyer’s letter landing on our MD.

I think Ms Liddell eventually ran out of friends to the extent that she was posted to Australia to act as High Commissioner; a kind of political transportation, but not, sadly, for the term of her natural life. Perhaps, since each of her official incumbencies seemed to coincide with the abolition of said offices, the Aussies thought her appointment might accelerate their eventual independence.

The trick to this – I humbly submit – is to make it as a politician, whatever that involves, before you engage in the ‘evening and weekends’ profession of scribing under-performing fiction. Ms Widdecombe and Ms Currie will no doubt leap to back me up here. Of course their work, too, was remaindered – it’s appallingly written – but the advances from the gullible publishers are so, so much bigger, darling!

Have a literary weekend – I’m off out with the Wee Guy.

Andrew Mishmash