Political Trivia

Generally I find politicians a pretty detestable bunch. To think that we are represented by the likes of Jack Straw [who counts Pinochet and Mugabe among his friends], bare-knuckle thug John Prescott, and the thoroughly unpleasant Barbara Roache. But some of them are worthy of our attention.

Oona King was in Mishmash Bookshop last week. I am pleased to tell you she is a thousand and one times more gorgeous than "that" George Galloway. And she bought a copy of the Rothmans Football Handbook. Form an orderly queue please, gentlemen...

Frank Field was the last customer I served before hurrying off to assist at my son's birth; he never walks past the door without asking after The Wee Guy. "Too clever for government", say the commentators; too rare altogether, say Mishmash.

When I get to work early enough, I often pass Denis Skinner in Tothill Street. "Good Morning, Mister Skinner!" I shout, in my top-hat voice; "Moornin'" he scowls back at me. He had a quadruple bypass last year and was back at work within weeks, representing his own constituents, and the left in general.

Mayoral candidates frequent the shop too. Ken has the longest arms of anyone I have ever seen. Steve Norris asked my colleague Dave if he might borrow a handkercheif. Susan Kramer [despite being an international banking lawyer] looks like your jolly auntie who teaches silversmithing at the County F.E. College.

I bumped into Tony Blair earlier this year; walking round St James's Park on the morning he had to tell Tessa Jowell to choose between her job and her husband. "Oh Look", I thought, "there's some old bloke who missed his last train home and slept on a bench. And he looks like Tony Blair..."

Andrew Mishmash